I headed to KFC/Taco Bell with a pocket full of coupons. It was early evening and I was meeting Sarah for a fast food feast. I was a little apprehensive about this particular venture, because I am quite familiar with the corner that houses this restaurant, and it’s a little gnarly. As I approached the doors things seemed pretty quiet and I looked around for Sarah. I didn’t see her so I popped into the restaurant. From outside I saw a tall manly figure in a black skirt and top and from that distance I figured he was just a guy in drag, nothing out of the ordinary, but when I got inside I found that wasn’t exactly the case.
Here’s Sarah’s artist’s rendering
Full gray beard, tank top pulled down under his man boobs, ass drooping below his skirt and what looked like tassels on his nipples, but upon closer inspection were nipple clamps. Homemade nipple clamps no less, just black binder clips. Ouch. I was pretty taken aback by this guy, but Sarah was put in a slight state of shock. We had lots of time to observe (and notice his leopard print thong) because the couple in line in front of us took an extraordinary amount of time to place their order. They did apologize to everyone in line afterwards though. To my surprise, all our fellow customers were very nice.
We ordered a pretty wide variety of stuff from taco bell.
That’s Sarah’s bag of goodies, here’s mine;
Most of what sounded appealing was on the taco bell menu, but I made sure to order one thing from the KFC side. Most of what I ate was stuff I’d never had before. I ate a bean burrito, which was pretty normal, it seemed like there was less sauce than usual. I also ordered a Fresco Ranchero chicken soft taco, which came off the Drive Thru Diet menu. It was ok, but kind of hot dog tasting. The biggest disappointment was the Mexican Pizza.
I was so excited for it too, it sounds super amazing right? A Mexican pizza! It should be great! But no, it was weird; weird texture, weird flavor, and look at it, it looks weird. More gross, it looks gross. I could only eat a couple bites of this.
From KFC I ordered the Fiery Grilled Wings, which to my surprise were pretty good. They weren’t too spicy, but the chicken wasn’t the gross greasy mush that KFC’s fried chicken usually is. It was pretty standard barbequed chicken. Not too bad.
Sarah also had a bean burrito, and I believe a soft taco, and this slug looking thing
that I’m pretty sure was a meximelt. Sarah said it was alright. She had a lot of trouble determining what was in it, but that’s just a fun mystery, right?
The very best thing we ate that night were, shockingly, the cookies.
They were 3 for a dollar, and I joked about the sign on the cookie case that said they were fresh baked daily, but the joke was on me because they did taste pretty fresh. The chocolate chip was the best, but the sugar wasn’t bad.
Taco Bell/KFC didn’t make me sick like McDonald’s did, but I’m not in a rush to get back. But if I had to eat there I wouldn’t be sad to eat grilled chicken and cookies. I’d probably skip the weirder stuff on Taco Bell menu though.
KFC/Taco Bell
691 Eddy St
Goldentooth 
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