My friend Sarah and I made a date to see the latest Harry Potter and eat Pizza Hut. We decided to go to the IMAX 3-D show because it was at the right time; I don’t know if you know about this “Harry Potter” thing, but the movies tend to be pretty long and if we went to a 7:30 showing by the time we got back to my crib it’d be a little late for a big pizza dinner. Anyway, the movie was pretty good, I’m not a big fan of that series but the films are generally entertaining, as this one was, and I enjoy 3-D and IMAX, so I was pleased. Even though I found it pretty weird that these kids are always like “man, I’m really bummed that my friends are always dying and that our entire way of life is being threatened and we are in constant peril and I need to depart on a really dangerous and possibly deadly quest, but do you think that so and so likes me, is it ok if we snog in front of her brother?” I think I’d mostly be focused on everyone I know not getting destroyed and worry about the courting after I have that squared away.
Anyway, we called ahead to Pizza Hut while we walked home from the movie. We had, sadly, been unable to find any good coupons so we decided to order simply; a one topping (pepperoni) medium pizza. The total was 16 bucks, we were picking it up so we didn’t have to tip a delivery driver (Sarah’s idea, she is a genius. Seriously, we couldn’t spare it, IMAX movies are insanely expensive). Our pizza was ready when we got to the little shop (it is a takeout and delivery only spot) and we paid and I asked if they had ranch dressing. I would have told Sarah to ask for some when she called in our order, but I didn’t see any salads on their online menu so I wasn’t sure if they would have any dressings. So really I was asking if they had it, not if they would give me some. Still, they handed over a little sealed tub to me and then paused awkwardly. “We usually charge for that,” the guy behind the counter said. I was struck dumb for a moment because I had totally expected to pay for it, usually places like Pizza Hut are not giving anything away, but the way they said “sure!” and handed the dressing over made it seem like it was complimentary. It was weird, and I said “oh, ok,” and was reaching into my pocket when the guy said “oh, it’s ok, we just usually charge for it.” So Sarah and I left and were weirded out. Thanks dude, you made me feel like a criminal.
Whatever, it was totally worth it because the ranch dressing was delicious and totally enhanced the already delicious Pizza Hut crust. Yeah, that’s right, I fucking love Pizza Hut pizza. Say what you want about my taste, I don’t care, it’s good. I’m not saying if you gave me the choice between, say Pauline’s or Pizzeria Delfina and the Hut I wouldn’t go for the more white table cloth joints, but still. Pizza Hut has a tangy sauce, a pleasantly toasty cheese and the crust is the bomb. In the past I remember it (the crust) tasting almost deep fried, but this time the crust was not quite so intense, but still delightfully greasy. Sarah and I ate the whole pizza, and fast. One of the coupons that came on our box was for this amazing deal, which we will be feasting on while watching America’s Next Top Model some time in the near future: 2 medium 2 topping pizzas, 10 breadsticks and 5 hershey’s chocolate dippers (whatever those are). The price for this banquet? $21.99. I know! It’s insane. You could get one medium pizza for 16 dollars or you could get your monthly allowance of carbs (not to mention saturated fat, yum) for 6 bucks more. Insane.